TheColleagueDoesntHaveAWebsite

Security!

2009-02-24T21:50:00.000-08:00

One can't help but feel safe when these two are securing the perimeter.

Errrr.

Fox News Sunday

2009-01-12T07:48:00.000-08:00

GWB's on his way out, praise Jah. And he's making just about as much sense upon his exit as he did during the debacle of his presidency. Good lord. "I firmly reject the word 'torture.' Really, George? Shocking.

I just remembered...

2009-01-09T16:41:00.000-08:00

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Vj6IN2A2tVE&NR=1

I heart Donnie Darko. And Poetry Day.

Yes! and Why?

2009-01-05T21:19:00.000-08:00

So, the practically free dinner tonight at Salty's in Alki was great, and the view was gorgeous... Yes!

but

WHY is it that the only good Google images of the view can be found on wedding web sites??

Did I accidentally get married while taking in the Seattle skyline? Yikes.

Awwwww Yeah!

2008-12-25T11:43:00.000-08:00

That's my president.

Never Thought I'd Say It

2008-12-22T18:11:00.000-08:00

But Mustache has an integrity to him that I didn't expect.

Also, he doesn't technically have a mustache anymore. But that doesn't mean he gets to change his name.

Finally: Mustache doesn't want me to "get him started" on the topic of Amazon Girlfriend from Lynnwood? VERY interesting....

Bird Ban

2008-12-22T10:00:00.000-08:00

How is it that the feathered pest pounding away at our eaves is both the laziest AND the most persistent woodpecker on the face of the earth?? No rapid-fire jack-hammering from this guy. Just a slow knocking away at the wood outside Em and Q's bedroom. The guy wasn't at the top of his pecking class... but he never missed a day, I'm sure. He's a big, dumb, plodding oaf of a pecker, and he's going to drive me out of my mind. Could this anti-pecker spray really be the answer to my prayers?

Anti-Cabin-Fever

2008-12-21T16:50:00.000-08:00

Which is better on a snowy day?

Watching episodes of the Real Housewives of Orange County

OR

Going on a photo scavenger hunt?

The Best Thing about Impending Blizzard Conditions is...

2008-12-20T17:06:00.000-08:00

SAFEWAY!

To find out why, please select from the following options:

A. It's just close enough to give shut-ins an excuse to walk there and get some cardio-conditioning in before gorging themselves on artichoke dip and bean pate.

2. Its overwhelmed checkout lines give everyone an exercise in charity and patience, two qualities cherished at this time of year.

C. Its parking lot provides hours of entertainment as Washington drivers pretend they own Zamboni machines.

4. Amazon Girlfriend from Lynnwood shops there, too!

E. All of the above.

(PS: The answer is E)

It's a Tie!

2008-12-18T19:23:00.000-08:00

Things I love in this photo:
1. Quinn
2. Snow

Things I don't love in this photo:
1. Monster Truck
2. Angus the Big Dumb Dog

From the Mouths of Teens

2008-12-15T09:50:00.001-08:00

Her: You don't always NEED a singer.

Him: Why didn't I think of that?!

Work that doesn't Suck

2008-12-12T13:37:00.001-08:00

Suddenly, grading papers seems silly. I'd much rather be working on ways to sponsor the kids who live in the Cura Orphanage... and to take them some good news in June.

And that's just what they'll do

2008-11-30T17:01:00.000-08:00

Sure, I had 25 quizzes in my bag and could have settled in for 3 hours of grading this morning, while GVB ran the Seattle Marathon. But since I had my walkin' boots on, that's what I did instead. Seattle's lovely on foggy Sunday mornings. Also, here are some things I thought about on my walk:

1. There really is no excuse for me not to at least walk any available half-marathon while GVB is 'thon-ing. Folks twice my size and/or twice my age were doing it... Why am I so, so lazy??

2. The cops who get assigned route-duty just know they're being punished for something they did wrong in a past life. And they aren't afraid to let you know it, too.

3. More cowbell!

4. Acupuncture tables at the end of the marathon? Really, Bastyr University? Really?

5. California Rolls make a perfectly good breakfast, if one finds oneself in Queen Anne with an hour to kill.

6. Markets that require a code in order to use the restroom facilities should just post a guard at the door, specifically trained to sniff out the homeless and bar them from entering. We get it. No riff-raff. Aren't my boots code enough??

7. One and a half hours of a continuous Black Eyed Peas song loop is plenty. Turn up your stereo! Turn up your stereo! Turn up your stereo! Enough, already.

8. People like them some Starbucks.

Twilight

2008-11-23T20:15:00.000-08:00

1. Yes, I've seen the movie. Under the auspices of "screening" it for my teenage daughter, I joined several of my 40-something girlfriends and braved the hormone-filled crowd at the Loews cinema last night...

2. I expect that this movie will reach cult status by 2010, with midnight showings every Saturday night, replete with Rocky-Horror-esque audience participation. Campy. Hilarious. Terrible.

3. Yes, I've read the book. The first one, that is. I'll get to the second one soon... hopefully before the next film in the onslaught hits the big screen.

4. It takes all of my post-feminist resolve not to hurl the book at the nearest teenager when I read about a 17 year old girl who is celebrated for turning her identity over to some guy she barely knows.

Especially since he's not even that hot.

Have I Mentioned

2008-11-20T14:01:00.001-08:00

How much I adore my new red boots?

Now, Molecule Woman here looks better in hers than I do in mine, but it's enough for me to know that I've joined a proud line of red-boot-wearing dominatrices out there.

Painful

2008-11-10T19:59:00.000-08:00

Shameful

Horrible

Recommended

Batman Sues Christopher Nolan?

2008-11-09T17:01:00.000-08:00

Hilarious.

http://io9.com/5079815/batman-sues-christopher-nolan-over-success-of-the-dark-knight

Words

2008-11-04T21:44:00.000-08:00

Can't express how happy I am.

Turned Out

2008-11-02T19:52:00.000-08:00

To be a pretty good time.

So far?

2008-10-31T10:13:00.001-07:00

Best Halloween Ever.

Two Things I Know

2008-10-30T12:30:00.000-07:00

1. I could live at the Edgefield. Smart, progressive, happy people work here. The beds are comfortable. It's kid-friendly. There are plenty of vegetarian options on the menu. There's a bar or two. There are some details to work out to make this dream a reality, but I'm looking into it.

2. I will not be doing yoga tonight. I can't lift my arms over my head, and I'm pretty sure I'm already dehydrated enough.

Short. Sweet. Hot.

2008-10-28T18:43:00.000-07:00

My musings on our motorcycle adventure comprised my longest post yet. But drew no comment.

As a result, this one will be much, much shorter.

Yoga. Heat. Ass kicking.

Gonna do it again in the morning.

Things To Do on the Back of a Bike

2008-10-26T20:44:00.000-07:00

Having spent varying lengths of time as a passenger on this fine piece of machinery this weekend, I can now offer the following suggestions--in no particular order--to keep YOU entertained the next time your head is cushioned inside a helmet:

1. Roll eyes at and decide to count the McCain/Palin campaign signs on display throughout Snohomish, Skagit and Island Counties.

2. Forgive yourself for losing count, in favor of actively keeping your terror in check (are there REALLY this many Republicans? Here? On the west coast? In my blue state? REALLY? I think I have an ulcer.).

3. Monitor the rear view mirror to be sure the pumpkin strapped to the bike hasn't leapt to its gut-spewing death on the road behind you.

4. Play the last song you heard on the radio in a continuous loop for background music in your head. Mine? "Collide," by Howie Day.

5. Invent new passenger seat designs that involve heated grips like the ones the dude in front of you gets. Lucky bastard.

6. Blink strategically so you miss the pass through Stanwood.

7. Practice sitting ramrod straight and tucking your abdominal muscles up under your rib cage like the yoga article recommended in that Outdoor magazine you read in the doctor's office waiting room last week.

8. Telepathically apologize to the future hamburgers you're sure you could hear mooing plaintively at you from their pens on the side of the road if it wasn't for the deafening roar of the BMW engine vibrating beneath you.

9. Compose emails you'll never send to your uncle in which you teach him a thing or two about common human decency.

10. Kegels. Lots and lots of kegels.

Irresistable!

2008-10-20T18:29:00.001-07:00

How can I NOT submit my birth date and time, along with those of the man with whom I'm considering a long-term relationship, and get a 7-day risk-free astrological reading that I don't have to pay for until I see RESULTS?

I'd be a fool to ignore my destiny.

Obviously.

Reconsidering Book Group

2008-10-20T17:50:00.000-07:00

This book is taunting me from the far reaches of my desk. I know I'm supposed to read it for my book group, and I LOVE those women and don't want to disappoint them. But the word "jigaboo" appeared within the first few pages. And here's some sample dialogue:

"Of course there's a lump on her breast, my God, you're a tit man, I didn't come here to ask about the lump on her face--that's called a NOSE, by the way, I don't know if they teach that kind of thing any more in medical school."

Now, I'm no creative writing major, but I know what I like...

Hours of Good Clean Fun

2008-10-19T14:23:00.000-07:00

http://www.palinispresident.com/

Gadget Overload

2008-10-17T14:41:00.001-07:00

I realize there's an apparent hypocrisy in my current anti-gadget stance, what with my very recent declaration of undying love for Facebook. But I'm a complicated woman. I contain multitudes. So back off.

It's not your fault. You're not alone.

2008-10-17T08:13:00.000-07:00

I'm officially addicted to Facebook... even though I think it's arrogant to presume that anyone wants to electronically track my "status" throughout the day and massively tedious to remain in constant contact with people who would have been, back in "the day," once-a-year pen pals. Still. I totally heart it.

Obscene Finger Gestures at Kenlake Place

2008-10-16T13:26:00.000-07:00

Raise your hand if you've had an even bigger idiot than this one flip you off today!

Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes.

2008-10-14T21:38:00.000-07:00

The only thing better than a sushi/sashimi/sake/seaweed dinner is a sushi/sashimi/sake/seaweed dinner paid for with windfall profits.

Also: 20 points to whomever can correctly name the current location of my pink scarf.

My Morning

2008-10-12T16:30:00.000-07:00

GVB has covered the technical elements of the main event of my morning already, but here are a few things he missed:

1. The first thing that needs renovating in Husky Stadium is the bench seats. Ass cheeks aren't supposed to fall asleep, bruise, then ache while taking in a spectator sport.

2. It's damned hard work to read four Ursula Hegi short stories in a little over 30 minutes, but some of us have the stamina to power through. Why isn't there a souvenir race t-shirt for US?

3. Never, ever attend a Dawg Dash without first locating a nonfat latte. Caffeine withdrawal makes you even less attractive in comparison to all those perky athletic types.

4. Things we lost in the fire: Sweater's Prom Date. Sigh.

5. The Sunflour California omelette is a rib-sticker. And yummy, too. Thanks for brunch, RPD!

2? 3? Whichever.

2008-10-10T21:51:00.000-07:00

Pounding my sore feet back out toward Penn Station to catch a subway to Brooklyn, walking 6 blocks on the same sore feet to meet up with Twumasi, waiting two hours while Twumasi and the various family members visiting his wife show off their Canal St purchases and gather their things, walking to find a restaurant that can take six full-grown people plus a baby for dinner within an hour, eating way too much because the fish tacos and the fried plaintains were just too good to resist, then walking back to the subway to head back in to Manhattan?

Perfect evening.

BFFs

2008-10-10T13:43:00.000-07:00

It turns out that Wicked is a love story between two girls who become friends over a pillow fight in the dorms. It was surprisingly good, too.

If it wasn't true...

2008-10-08T19:40:00.000-07:00

...it would be hilarious.

Multiple Choice Quiz

2008-10-07T20:01:00.001-07:00

Which one of these notable performers did I see tonight?

Weather Forecast for

2008-10-05T15:01:00.000-07:00


	Tuesday Night Clear. Lows in the upper 40s. West winds around 5 mph.
	Wednesday Sunny. Highs in the upper 60s.
	Wednesday Night Partly cloudy. Lows in the mid 50s.
	Thursday Mostly sunny. Highs in the lower 70s.
	Thursday Night Mostly cloudy. A chance of showers after midnight. Lows in the upper 50s. Chance of rain 30 percent.
	Friday Mostly cloudy with a 50 percent chance of rain. Highs in the upper 60s.
	Friday Night Mostly cloudy with a 50 percent chance of rain. Lows in the mid 50s.

Where?? I'll never tell...

Graphic Designers for Obama

2008-10-05T11:01:00.000-07:00

Poster #1

Check it out: http://www.30reasons.org

Active Shooter Situation

2008-10-03T15:09:00.000-07:00

Or, "What I learned at my division meeting today":

Get Out
Hide Out
Keep Out
Help Out
Figure Out
Take Out
Spread Out

I have a survival mindset.

Rules of the Day

2008-10-02T20:45:00.000-07:00

1. Don't leave the house.
2. Wear as minimal clothing as individual circumstances permit (while cooking, for example, protect vulnerable skin).
3. Don't work.
4. Watch the debate and try not to vomit.

90s Grunge in Ballard

2008-09-30T14:33:00.001-07:00

I was legitimately out of the country when my friend's husband apparently helped jump start the Seattle grunge thing. Sorry--missed it. But I'll catch it retro-actively tonight. I promise.

Book Group

2008-09-30T09:00:00.000-07:00

The women in my book group are wild about this guy. Apparently there's a new 007 movie coming out: Quantum of Solace. And he's Bond. James Bond.

The core compelling reason to see this film, according to the 6 giddy suburbanites in my living room last night, is this guy run out of the water in his swim trunks. There was swooning involved. And exclamations of "have you ever seen a more perfect specimen of a male body?!"

At least that was better than talking about "Three Cups of Tea." Yawn.

Wazzup on Wall Street?

2008-09-29T14:49:00.001-07:00

There are a lot of white guys stymied by today's economic news, eh?

Umm, no bailout? But. But. But.

Errr.

Now what?

Oh, THAT Eurydice!

2008-09-28T17:17:00.000-07:00

And here I was, feeling like I really should know the plot of the play we're seeing tonight, what with me being a former English major and all... and then I find out from Wikipedia that I know the story after all:

In Greek mythology, Eurydice (Eurydíkê, Εὐρυδίκη) was an oak nymph or a sweet maiden. She was the wife of Orpheus. Orpheus loved her dearly; on their wedding day, Orpheus played songs filled with happiness as his bride danced through the meadow. One day, a satyr had seen her and pursued her. According to legend, Eurydice stepped on a snake and fell to the ground. The venomous snake had bitten her, leaving Eurydice dead. Distraught, Orpheus played and sang so mournfully that all the nymphs and gods wept. In their saddened states, they told him to travel to the Underworld and retrieve her. Orpheus did so, and by his music softened the hearts of Hades and Persephone, his singing so sweet that even the Erinyes wept. In another version, Orpheus played his lyre to put the guardian of Hades, Cerberus, to sleep. It was then granted that Eurydice be allowed to return with him to the world of the living. But the condition was attached that he should walk in front of her and not look back until he had reached the upper world. In his anxiety, he broke his promise, and Eurydice vanished again from his sight - this time forever.

Totally romantic.

Plus, there is disagreement about the pronunciation of this lovely maiden's name. Is it:

a. You're-a-dyke
b. You're-a-disease (in which the final 'z' sound is silent)
c. You're-a-dice
d. none of the above

Greek scholars? You wanna weigh in on this one?

Two Things:

2008-09-27T09:33:00.000-07:00

Here are two things I would completely dismiss if it weren't for GVB's children's association with them:

1. Stanwood
2. Cheerleading

But maybe VBchild#1 is on to something I'm missing. I'll give it another shot next year.

Token Magnum Post

2008-09-25T15:57:00.000-07:00

This cartoon reminds me of my ex-husband.

On Bailouts and Family Businesses

2008-09-23T14:00:00.000-07:00

Somebody needs to explain to me why rich white guys still run the world. Haven't we learned yet that, faced with unchecked opportunities for self-congratulation, they'll eventually all make the rest of us pay for their excesses?

I'm the daughter of a rich white guy, so I know of what I speak. And some of my dad's relatives are reeeeeeaallllly greedy.

And in medical news...

2008-09-22T18:12:00.000-07:00

...it turns out one can't count on UW to make an accurate pathology report. So I've got that going for me. Which is nice.

Isn't this graphic disgusting? Ick.

Anyway, I might need to break my hours-old determination to go off the sauce in order to toast my new diagnosis. Not cancer? Cheers!

Red Alert!!!

2008-09-22T06:56:00.001-07:00

MY MAILBOX IS OVER ITS SIZE LIMIT!

I can't wait to go to work today.

Family Fun Time?

2008-09-21T19:03:00.000-07:00

Percent chance I can convince the very girls I've ignored all weekend in favor of not being very productive preparing for classes tomorrow to agree to a round of the greatest letters-on-tiles game since the dawn of Scrabble?

Probably zero percent.

But I'm gonna try... because I'm just that good of a mom.

Beading Day!

2008-09-20T18:15:00.000-07:00

I can't decide which is worse:

spending two rainy hours on the sidelines of a soccer game with my ex-husband satelliting around me, talking to all his new friends about their super-fun party last night

OR

spending two stuffy hours in a bead store with a gaggle of women who believe themselves to be true artisans but who steadfastly ignore the paying customers, especially those age 13 and younger, who clearly require their assistance.

Both scenarios are maddening in their own way, but only one of them ends with three newly blinged girls.

So I guess the soccer game sucked more.

New Respect for Raid

2008-09-19T13:06:00.002-07:00

Earlier today I had an email exchange with one of my favorite co-committee members regarding the infestation of Belize by missionaries in bible-quoting matching t-shirts. During that discussion, I mentioned that the sight of said Christian crusaders atop a Mayan temple made me long for a gargantuan Raid-spraying fogger to unburden the ancient jungle dwellers of their ant-like swarm of arrogant invaders.

I still hate the thought of those Christians.

But now I really want the Raid to off the 17 fruit flies currently swarming the rim of my wine glass. WTF?

Truth in Advertising

2008-09-19T13:06:00.000-07:00

Popular mythology suggests that a creature called a Maytag Repairman exists, but I'm not convinced.

I'd write more about it here, but I have to go wash dishes.

Three Days---not so serious version

2008-09-16T20:16:00.000-07:00

1. I've been to real refugee camps and lived with a nomadic tribe... and neither scenario involved pink tents or costumed blow up dolls. Still, the camp in Marymoor park was a trip.

2. Under no other circumstance than a fundraising three day walk can I imagine collecting pink beads, wearing a feather boa, and cheering for a man whose t-shirt reads something like "I heart my wife's boobs."

3. I used to think it was sexy when women used the word "tits" to refer to their own breasts. Now all the mammary-related terminology sounds dull. Sigh.

4. The cynic in me is troubled by the fact that the same organization that raises $8.6 million for breast cancer research also serves mass-produced bacon for breakfast, hands out Lays potato chips at lunch and encourages participants to just throw away anything they don't eat/use after dinner. I guess you just have to pick your battles.

Three Days---Serious Version

2008-09-16T20:07:00.001-07:00

1. People like me aren't meant to walk 60 miles in 3 days with no prior training.

2. People who weigh 50+ pounds more than I do and/or are 20 years older than I am and/or start the walk on crutches and/or just made it through a round of chemo REALLY aren't meant to walk 60 miles in 3 days.

3. We all did it, and it was incredible.

4. I might be the luckiest sister-in-law on earth... my teammates were hilarious, inspiring and impressive the entire 60 miles.

P.S.

2008-09-11T12:58:00.000-07:00

Dear Inexplicably Be-Wigged, Borderline Incompetent Division Secretary,

I don't have a husband.

Love,
The Colleague

This Time Tomorrow...

2008-09-11T07:05:00.001-07:00

...the little pink swooshes on my Nikes will be in motion, taking the first steps of 60 miles' worth. I'm not sure I'm up to it, frankly. Walking two miles to the PTSA meeting last night was just perfect; I could have done more, but why??

Oh, yeah. For boobs.

I guess it'll be worth it.

Would you rather...

2008-09-10T16:18:00.000-07:00

...sit in the sun, afloat on the 'Hood, and drink a beer?

OR

...sit in your office and finalize documents for next week's department retreat?

Choose very carefully.

Burning Man? Really?

2008-09-10T07:24:00.001-07:00

People still do the Burning Man thing? It stuns me. But I guess it's sort of cool to know that pseudo-hippie strangers find my friend's life inspiring...

Complete and Unabridged

2008-09-07T18:48:00.000-07:00

Sarah Palin and I have SO much in common.

1. We are both in our 40s.

2. As hockey moms, we represent an artificial demographic, no better or worse than any other kind of mom. (I heart Jon Stewart.)

3. We love low-cut satin shirts and leather mini-skirts. (Thanks for the photo, GVB, via AW.)

4. ummm....

Okay. Sarah Palin and I have three things in common.

Unexpected Gifts

2008-09-05T07:37:00.001-07:00

I turn 40 today, and the emails and cards and visitors and gifts are all rolling in. Perhaps the most unique birthday gift of all, though, was a visit from Ooky, the Birthday Slug! He was oozing across my kitchen floor as I prepared the morning's coffee, and we shared some tender birthday words before I scooped him up on a piece of cardboard and hurled him into the ivy in the back yard.

Sorry

2008-09-03T21:04:00.001-07:00

I can't help but like her.

I still want the Obama/Biden ticket to crush those spectacles into tiny shards of glass that shred her anti-feminist views...

But I sort of liked her tonight.

Sorry.

Things I learned in the International District

2008-09-03T13:44:00.000-07:00

Lunch at Uwajimaya with 8 incoming 8th graders is an education all by itself, but here are two of the more generally applicable things I noted yesterday during my right-in-the-thick-of-puberty-fueled excursion:

1. White people who shop at Uwajimaya believe themselves to be unique and remarkable for doing so. The air of pretension in the soy cheese aisle was (dare I say it?) palpable.

2. Hello Kitty is still very, very popular.

Back, by RPD demand

2008-08-30T21:08:00.000-07:00

For those of you who aren't in the know, these are the Bad Idea Bears. The BIBs tend to wail and gnash their teeth when folks like me don't respond to their encouragements toward more wine and less work---but I can proudly say that I've given them no cause for tears in recent months. Go ahead and read GVB's blog for the general overview of my summer (minus the sailing, running, climbing and riding)... and watch for future posts, now that RPD, the honorary BIB, has encouraged me toward electronic record-keeping...

This Guy's a Genius!

2008-04-30T10:05:00.000-07:00

5 Ways to Date a Woman in the Workplace

Approaching a woman who is a coworker must be done carefully

By David Wygant

As a dating coach, people come to my blog every day and ask me this question: ''David, there's this great woman that I want to date who works with me at the same company. How do I get her to date me and still keep my job?''

Dating in the workplace is very tricky, because you don't want to jeopardize your status in the company or her status in the company. You also don't want to create any bad blood between you and a fellow coworker if it doesn't work out.

Now, I'm not saying that this is something that can't work.

There are a lot of people who have fallen in love with coworkers... you just need to know how to approach it the right way, and how to "feel out" things as you do that, so you don't put either of you in a precarious situation.

Approaching a woman who is a coworker must be done somewhat differently (and more carefully) than approaching women with whom you don't work. With that in mind, here are my five steps to determine whether to (and, if so, how to) ask out your fellow coworker:

1. Start off by having lunch with her and a group of other people in the company cafeteria or the company lunch room. Get to know her in a group setting with no pressure at all. This way she gets to know you and what you're all about in a very casual way.

2. Get a group of coworkers together and go out for happy hour one day after work. Now that you've already had some time in the cafeteria to get to know this group of coworkers better (including the woman in whom you're interested), going to a happy hour with this group is a great way to get to know each other outside of the work environment. Being outside the work environment will also give you the opportunity to do a bit of flirting with her. This will be a good way to see if she's also flirting with you.

So the key to liking someone at work is not to let your coworkers know it. You want to be able to casually get to know each other so there's no pressure. During the happy hour, notice with which people she's hanging out more. Is she paying extra attention to you? Is she flirting with you? If so, then proceed to Number 3.

3. IM her one day and ask her what she's doing for lunch. Be playful and tell her that you really need to get out of the office, and that you couldn't think of anyone more fun with whom to have a lunch escape. Make it casual. You've already hung out with her in a group setting at lunch and at happy hour.

This is your chance to be alone with her, and to find out more about her. This is also her chance to get to know you better. Keep in mind, though, that this is not a date. It's just two coworkers having lunch. If this lunch is successful, then proceed to Number 4.

4. Start sending some emails to her during the day - just funny and light stuff. For instance, you could tell her about an office rumor you heard and say that you wanted to tell her about it first. You could also pass along a funny email that your friend forwarded to you. Tell her that you're forwarding it to her because you know she'd appreciate it.

Once again, keep it light and friendly. If she responds positively, you'll probably end up IM'ing with each other periodically during the day when you are both bored. If this stage is successful, then move on to Number 5... the close!

5. "The close." On a Wednesday or Thursday when you're speaking with her, casually find out what she's doing that Friday night. Tell her you are going out with a bunch of your guy friends, and that it would be great if she came with some of her girl friends so you could all hang out together. Once again, this is very casual... but it is also the final tell-tale sign you need to learn so that you can decide whether or not to ask her out on a date.

When you meet her group, start talking to her friends and watch what she does. If she keeps coming over, "claiming you," and trying to pull you away from her friends, then she is interested in dating you. If she ends up making out with one of your friends in the corner, then she'll never know about your secret crush and you will never have to worry about work-related issues or tension. If she's hanging out primarily with you (or even better hanging all over you and no one else), then it's time to confront her and ask her out on a real date.

You never know where you are going to find someone you like. There are no impossible situations. So the next time you find a woman in your office to whom you're attracted, follow these 5 easy steps so that you can see if she is also interested in you without worrying about what life at work will be like if she isn't. Explore the possibilities... you never know what may end up developing.

Now that we share insurance...

2008-04-25T08:30:00.001-07:00

we CAN afford a ticket!

When I want a beer, what do I drink: Nothing?? NO!

2008-04-10T10:52:00.000-07:00

This.

Oh, Topless Robot, I have so much to learn from you

2008-04-04T13:37:00.000-07:00

1) I Heart My Penis Merchandise

There are some things that should be accepted as basic fact, and one of them is that most guys love their penis. That being said, there's really no reason to go out of your way to advertise this to the rest of the world. Unless you're the type of guy that's tired of waiting two whole seconds for people to decipher the double entendre on your Big Johnson t-shirt, you might want to just keep quiet about your affinity for your own genitalia. Pins, magnets, and even air-fresheners sharing your founding member status in a fan club of one is only tipping people off that they're dealing with a Grade-A douche bag.

http://www.toplessrobot.com/2008/03/the_10_products_only_douchebags_buy.php#=rss

Also this

2008-03-25T17:44:00.000-07:00

When talking to a white person who lives in San Francisco, it is best not to bring up New York City. Though they live in a world class city, San Franciscans have a crippling inferiority complex about New York and even hinting at that will make them very sad or very defensive.

Fortunately, there is a fool-proof method for quickly returning the conversation to a positive, trust-building tone. No matter how much you have offended someone from San Francisco, you can always make them feel better by asking them how they feel about Southern California. They will instantly talk of how it is filled with crime, pollution, hegemonic culture, and the wrong kind of white people: “I swear California is like two separate countries, and I am so thankful that I live in the cultural center of the West Coast.” This will allow them to reassert their superiority and leave the conversation with a positive feeling about themselves and about you.

http://stuffwhitepeoplelike.wordpress.com/2008/03/23/91-san-francisco/

Tox.

2008-03-25T17:37:00.001-07:00

If one drinks roughly 16 ounces of this detox tea per day, is one then officially permitted to drink 16 extra ounces of toxins per night?

Just trying to clarify the rules, here.

Streetwalking

2008-03-24T14:56:00.001-07:00

FACT:
Walking around the mall 3 times is WAY better than walking around a track 18 times.

MATH:
I walked 6 miles, then came home to find that I had already earned $360 in donations. At that rate of return per mile, how many more do I have to walk before I'm done raising my required $2200?

ANOTHER FACT:
Lynnwood on foot is even more tragic than Lynnwood by car.

Easter, MVB Style

2008-03-18T10:25:00.001-07:00

Yes, MVB is who you think it is.

Ummm.

The Perennial Couv Question:

2008-03-18T01:23:00.001-07:00

Can a girl EVER have too many pairs of boots?

Vancouver Foodie Tour

2008-03-16T22:15:00.001-07:00

Cin Cin for Italian on Friday night. Seated at the same table as the last time I was there...

Cactus Club for lunch on Saturday. Two martinis and waitress who was eager for shopping tips in Seattle. Seems the exchange rate is more favorable for them now. Oops.

Hapa Izakaya for dinner Saturday night. Japanese beauty queen waitress and yummy sashimi. The pre-dinner napping must have done wonders, since the uber-helpful owner gave personal service.

Rangoli for lunch on Sunday. Excellent samosas and lemon-ginger drinks. Intrigued by some of their packaged meals to take home, but resisted the purchase since I live with someone who's not an Indian food fan. Three of them, actually.

But the most memorable refreshment provider?

Not merely because of the necessary caffeine, but also because of the decidedly un-Canadian experience of watching a pink sweatshirt-clad meth queen getting forcibly removed from the premises. We narrowly avoided her coffee-hurling wrath upon her dramatic exit.

Good times.

Where you'll find me

2008-03-13T10:24:00.000-07:00

The King Deluxe Suite at the Pacific Palisades Hotel. Gotta love The Couv.

I like stuff that white people like...

2008-03-07T12:17:00.000-08:00

Sorry, GVB. This is my new favorite blog: http://stuffwhitepeoplelike.wordpress.com/

Being white means to engage in a day in, day out struggle to prove that you are smarter than other white people. By the time they reach college, most white people are confronted with the fact that they may not be as smart as they imagined.

In coffee shops, bars, and classes white people will engage in conversations about authors and theorists that go nowhere as both parties start rattling off progressively more obscure people until eventually one side recognizes one and claims a victory. By the time they graduate (or a year or two afterwards), white people realize that they will need an edge to succeed in the cut-throat world of modern white society.

That edge is graduate school.

Girls in their Summer Clothes?

2008-03-06T17:52:00.000-08:00

Coming to Key Arena?
We're SO there.
Errrrr.

Remember when GOOD music used to come to Seattle?

Can't host. Will travel.

2008-02-13T11:42:00.001-08:00

tell him what he's won...

I'm a dog person, which means I'll be pretending to like your cat; it’ll grow on me.
When I really like a guy I turn into a 13 year old boy who can’t keep his hands to himself. Hopefully this isn't a problem. My parents hugged me too much or something.
Velvet rope type places can be fun, but I'm perfectly content at a dive bar if I'm with people that I like.
I've bought underwear to postpone doing laundry.
I think I'm well-traveled and educated - but I don't think you need a PhD to be interesting. Some of the smartest people I know never went to college.
I laugh at a lot of stupid things that all boys laugh at.
Beyond the obvious, I'm looking for a guy who...
- is willing to put up with my quirks
- can laugh at himself (and me)
- has a good heart
- has opinions
- has a life and mind of his own
- appreciates a bulleted list in an online dating profile
Looks are over-rated and fleeting, but I'd be lying if I said that physical attraction doesn't matter.
I have a sweet tooth: Ben & Jerry’s Coffee Heath Bar Crunch is my crack.
I like wine, Netflix, college basketball, un-PC humor and stepping on particularly crunchy leaves. I don't have any hobbies but I have way too many interests.
Have you ever seen someone's profile pics and been attracted to one of their friends? I hate that. That's why I insist on having ugly friends.
I can be a bottomless pit on 25 cent wing night, but I can clean up nice too.
I don't do long emails or awkward phone conversations. With so many great places in the city, I'd rather meet up for a drink and get to know you in person.
I try to avoid being narcissistic, but I think I’m a decent enough looking guy. My mom thinks I’m devilishly handsome.
I'm much cooler than your ex-boyfriend. Smarter and better looking too.
I'm really good at Trivial Pursuit.
I don't...
- play video games
- spell “boy” with an “i”
- scare parents
- pretend to be something I'm not
- think you can buy class or good taste
- lie about my height on my profile
- watch American Idol
- wear sports jerseys
I've had my heart broken. I think it builds character.
I say I'm sorry when I'm wrong.
I've been told I'm a good kisser…I'm just sayin'.
I miss my dog and parents. In that order.
I don't have any emotional stuff dragging me down. I love my life as it is and live in one of the greatest places on earth. Looking for someone fun and interesting to explore it with. Don't hesitate to drop me a line, perhaps we'll talk soon :)

I had given up hope...

2008-02-09T15:44:00.000-08:00

But now that I know that GVB is paying attention again, I'll celebrate caucus day with this.

I wonder

2007-12-06T17:58:00.001-08:00

How long it will take before GVB notices that a change is afoot at this non-existent website.

Does too

2007-11-13T16:34:00.000-08:00