When I want a beer, what do I drink: Nothing?? NO!

This.

Oh, Topless Robot, I have so much to learn from you

1) I Heart My Penis Merchandise

There are some things that should be accepted as basic fact, and one of them is that most guys love their penis. That being said, there's really no reason to go out of your way to advertise this to the rest of the world. Unless you're the type of guy that's tired of waiting two whole seconds for people to decipher the double entendre on your Big Johnson t-shirt, you might want to just keep quiet about your affinity for your own genitalia. Pins, magnets, and even air-fresheners sharing your founding member status in a fan club of one is only tipping people off that they're dealing with a Grade-A douche bag.

http://www.toplessrobot.com/2008/03/the_10_products_only_douchebags_buy.php#=rss

Also this

When talking to a white person who lives in San Francisco, it is best not to bring up New York City. Though they live in a world class city, San Franciscans have a crippling inferiority complex about New York and even hinting at that will make them very sad or very defensive.

Fortunately, there is a fool-proof method for quickly returning the conversation to a positive, trust-building tone. No matter how much you have offended someone from San Francisco, you can always make them feel better by asking them how they feel about Southern California. They will instantly talk of how it is filled with crime, pollution, hegemonic culture, and the wrong kind of white people: “I swear California is like two separate countries, and I am so thankful that I live in the cultural center of the West Coast.” This will allow them to reassert their superiority and leave the conversation with a positive feeling about themselves and about you.

http://stuffwhitepeoplelike.wordpress.com/2008/03/23/91-san-francisco/

Tox.

If one drinks roughly 16 ounces of this detox tea per day, is one then officially permitted to drink 16 extra ounces of toxins per night?

Just trying to clarify the rules, here.

Streetwalking

FACT:
Walking around the mall 3 times is WAY better than walking around a track 18 times.

MATH:
I walked 6 miles, then came home to find that I had already earned $360 in donations. At that rate of return per mile, how many more do I have to walk before I'm done raising my required $2200?


ANOTHER FACT:
Lynnwood on foot is even more tragic than Lynnwood by car.

Easter, MVB Style

Yes, MVB is who you think it is.

Ummm.

The Perennial Couv Question:

Can a girl EVER have too many pairs of boots?