Thursday, October 30, 2008
1. I could live at the Edgefield. Smart, progressive, happy people work here. The beds are comfortable. It's kid-friendly. There are plenty of vegetarian options on the menu. There's a bar or two. There are some details to work out to make this dream a reality, but I'm looking into it.
2. I will not be doing yoga tonight. I can't lift my arms over my head, and I'm pretty sure I'm already dehydrated enough.
Tuesday, October 28, 2008
Sunday, October 26, 2008
Having spent varying lengths of time as a passenger on this fine piece of machinery this weekend, I can now offer the following suggestions--in no particular order--to keep YOU entertained the next time your head is cushioned inside a helmet:
1. Roll eyes at and decide to count the McCain/Palin campaign signs on display throughout Snohomish, Skagit and Island Counties.
2. Forgive yourself for losing count, in favor of actively keeping your terror in check (are there REALLY this many Republicans? Here? On the west coast? In my blue state? REALLY? I think I have an ulcer.).
3. Monitor the rear view mirror to be sure the pumpkin strapped to the bike hasn't leapt to its gut-spewing death on the road behind you.
4. Play the last song you heard on the radio in a continuous loop for background music in your head. Mine? "Collide," by Howie Day.
5. Invent new passenger seat designs that involve heated grips like the ones the dude in front of you gets. Lucky bastard.
6. Blink strategically so you miss the pass through Stanwood.
7. Practice sitting ramrod straight and tucking your abdominal muscles up under your rib cage like the yoga article recommended in that Outdoor magazine you read in the doctor's office waiting room last week.
8. Telepathically apologize to the future hamburgers you're sure you could hear mooing plaintively at you from their pens on the side of the road if it wasn't for the deafening roar of the BMW engine vibrating beneath you.
9. Compose emails you'll never send to your uncle in which you teach him a thing or two about common human decency.
10. Kegels. Lots and lots of kegels.
Monday, October 20, 2008
How can I NOT submit my birth date and time, along with those of the man with whom I'm considering a long-term relationship, and get a 7-day risk-free astrological reading that I don't have to pay for until I see RESULTS?
I'd be a fool to ignore my destiny.
This book is taunting me from the far reaches of my desk. I know I'm supposed to read it for my book group, and I LOVE those women and don't want to disappoint them. But the word "jigaboo" appeared within the first few pages. And here's some sample dialogue:
"Of course there's a lump on her breast, my God, you're a tit man, I didn't come here to ask about the lump on her face--that's called a NOSE, by the way, I don't know if they teach that kind of thing any more in medical school."
Now, I'm no creative writing major, but I know what I like...
Sunday, October 19, 2008
Friday, October 17, 2008
I'm officially addicted to Facebook... even though I think it's arrogant to presume that anyone wants to electronically track my "status" throughout the day and massively tedious to remain in constant contact with people who would have been, back in "the day," once-a-year pen pals. Still. I totally heart it.
Thursday, October 16, 2008
Tuesday, October 14, 2008
Sunday, October 12, 2008
GVB has covered the technical elements of the main event of my morning already, but here are a few things he missed:
1. The first thing that needs renovating in Husky Stadium is the bench seats. Ass cheeks aren't supposed to fall asleep, bruise, then ache while taking in a spectator sport.
2. It's damned hard work to read four Ursula Hegi short stories in a little over 30 minutes, but some of us have the stamina to power through. Why isn't there a souvenir race t-shirt for US?
3. Never, ever attend a Dawg Dash without first locating a nonfat latte. Caffeine withdrawal makes you even less attractive in comparison to all those perky athletic types.
4. Things we lost in the fire: Sweater's Prom Date. Sigh.
5. The Sunflour California omelette is a rib-sticker. And yummy, too. Thanks for brunch, RPD!
Friday, October 10, 2008
Pounding my sore feet back out toward Penn Station to catch a subway to Brooklyn, walking 6 blocks on the same sore feet to meet up with Twumasi, waiting two hours while Twumasi and the various family members visiting his wife show off their Canal St purchases and gather their things, walking to find a restaurant that can take six full-grown people plus a baby for dinner within an hour, eating way too much because the fish tacos and the fried plaintains were just too good to resist, then walking back to the subway to head back in to Manhattan?
Wednesday, October 8, 2008
Tuesday, October 7, 2008
Sunday, October 5, 2008
Clear. Lows in the upper 40s. West winds around 5 mph.
Sunny. Highs in the upper 60s.
Partly cloudy. Lows in the mid 50s.
Mostly sunny. Highs in the lower 70s.
Mostly cloudy. A chance of showers after midnight. Lows in the upper 50s. Chance of rain 30 percent.
Mostly cloudy with a 50 percent chance of rain. Highs in the upper 60s.
Mostly cloudy with a 50 percent chance of rain. Lows in the mid 50s.
Where?? I'll never tell...